


A Little Bit of Grey

by herooflegend



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Gen, this is the first thing i've ever posted and im scared
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 11:26:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18281675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herooflegend/pseuds/herooflegend
Summary: Ennaia has been a renegade from the moment she was born, and she isn't stopping now.(A series of drabbles centering around my hunter Ennaia, designed to read like a Destiny 2 lore book.)





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is the first thing I've ever posted so congrats to me I guess? I plan on it being around 7-8 parts, and I'll update warnings and tags accordingly.

She is not firstborn. Far from it. She is born to a pair of corsairs in the Reef not long after the Awoken leave the Distributary. In the end, though, none of this will matter. She will leave her family at a young age to be taken under the wing of one Uldren Sov, and then, she will die. Still, her people live on a seam, the finest line, and she is no exception. She is clashing point between flawed and perfect, the collision of simple and complex, of light and dark.

This is how Ennaia awakens.

I was nothingness. If I existed before, I existed only as potential pulled thin across the aether. There may have even been a body that once looked like my body, with a soul that felt rather like myself. But what is me was not yet real. And then I was born, and time was free to begin.

First, a mandala. Neat rings that shine with unbridled starlight, the web upon which the spider climbs.

I am I N A R I A, the song that is sung in perfect pitch. Control is the simplest way to meet an ends and with steady hand I cut out the note to change the tune.

I am self-determined destiny I N A I A, the arrow that pierces the cosmos with its bending power.

I become E N A I A, who tears through repetition with the strength of my singularity. The mere uniqueness of being alone in infinity.

My myriad of selves, the mirror through which I see my family, the home that falls where people stand. I am ENNAIA, the double-edged truth.

She is only Enn and she must forget—

(All that is herself. The secret heart that burns through hate. The paradox of existence in a world that is dead but so alive. Freckles like stars that frame a face that has yet learned to smile.)

—in order to begin.


	2. Eyes Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ennaia talks of resurrection.

Here’s the first thing: I have always known that I’m a renegade.

I drew my first breath and open my eyes to a world of death. Laying flat to the ground in a snow-covered field, occasional dead tree here or there. All around me, partially decayed corpses littered the ground _._ Of the bodies, only one looked anything like mine.

I made myself busy looking for a weapon. Anything to defend myself, really. Couldn’t remember a thing back then. Not about the world or myself. But I knew the place I had just entered was not a kind one, and so I got to work. I saw a couple blades near a corpse a short distance away, but I was too shaky to stand, and my vision was too blurry to see much beyond that. Checking myself though, my hands settled on a shape, an odd dagger embedded in my chest. Could barely feel my hands through the cold, and the weapon’s metal hilt hurt like hell beneath my fingers. My first rez was not an easy one.

The whole time, my ears were ringing, and it took me far too long to realize I was being watched. A tiny machine floated barely a foot away. Looked like it was trying to speak, but I couldn’t hear a thing. I ignored it, easy enough. Started to pull the dagger from my chest. Obviously immune to social cues, the machine, I later learned was my Ghost, darted around me. As it moved to my left side, the good one, I could finally hear its chatter over the ringing.

“—and I am _so_ sorry I didn’t remove the knife beforehand. It’s just, I’m new at this and I didn’t want to _hurt_ you, and I certainly didn’t want to mess you up any—” he was saying, before moving back to my other side.

Still doing my best to ignore him, I started to clean off the dagger on my pants. I didn’t know what was going on, but I knew I didn’t want to deal with it. Still a little shaky, I got to my feet and started to walk away. Grabbed a sheath for the dagger off of one of the corpses.

My Ghost floated after me, shouting, “where are you going?!” I shrugged. Honestly didn’t know. “ _Do you even know your name??”_ he continued.

So, I told him. “Ennaia.” My voice was soft enough it surprised me. I showed no signs of this.

“Nice choice. It flows, I like it.”

I rolled my eyes and turned around. “Didn’t pick it.” As proof, I tossed a tag at my stalker. It landed perfectly on top of him as he floated behind me.

“Well... huh.” The tag disappeared before appearing again in my boot, just where I’d found it moments ago. “We should find a ship and get you to the Last Safe City. Well, it’s not quite a city yet but it’s gonna be big! I put together a list of people to introduce you to, _plus_ some of my favorite places to eat if I were capable of that. I’ve been plannin’ this for a while.”

This was going splendid. I said, “Neat. My turn to talk.”

“Of course, go ahead. It makes sense you’d have a few questions”

“Didn’t need your permission. Three things: What are you? Do you have a name? I’m leaving.” Again, I turned around to leave, cloak trailing behind me.

“I’m a ghost. I have two, technically, but just call me Kieran for now. Hey, wait up!!!”

Existing back then felt robotic, and even talking about it now feels weird. It was like I was watching someone else through a video feed. I didn’t know a thing about myself, who I was, what I was doing and where I was going, but I acted still. Without guidance. Without reason.


	3. Easy Research

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ennaia talks about her past and wandering.

In the years after my resurrection, I spent a lot of time wandering on my own. Despite Kieran’s pestering, I refused to find a ship. I kept him around against my better judgement. At the very least, he was a useful database. I still couldn’t remember a thing.

Mostly, I was curious, though I never would have admitted it. Wanted to figure out this world and what made it tick. Wanted to know myself, too. But I had to do it on my own terms, no one else’s. Especially not Kieran’s.

I must admit that he helped me some. Pointed out an odd line of code on that datatag I’d thrown at him. That gave us a goal, a direction to be headed in. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to keep me occupied, body and mind.

Time went by especially slow at first. I barely tired physically, but there’s only so much walking you can do before you lose yourself. Kieran was even worse than me. Even stopped talking my ear off once a month had passed. It all sped up after I found an abandoned sparrow. A lucky break, really. I fixed it up and left the fields behind.

It didn’t take long before I found the shipyards. It was a graveyard of machinery and metal. Skeleton of a city loomed in the distance. Fallen had mostly settled in, engaged in a constant war with the Hive that crawled up from beneath them. Whole place was tucked between some mountains, not far from the sea, and the wind was almost constant. It was eerie, and I felt at home.

Kieran was just happy to see new sights and explore. After I’d found a solid weapon hidden in a Guardian cache, I left him to it and went off on my own. I learned how much I crave a fight. Loved the comfortable rhythm to it. I could always tell when folks weren’t friendly, and I knew for sure I wasn’t. Gotta say, I spent long hours clearing dregs with that rifle I’d found. Once, I even used it to watch the same Guardian check on his cache, only to find it empty. I reveled it in the irony of it all. Kieran did not.

I started to see a lot more people, then. Pilgrim Guard from the City coming to scavenge or look for scattered groups of humans. Watched a couple new Risen find their feet, even. And the Fallen, of course. Fallen shot first, which was preferable. The Guardians, on the other hand, tried to talk. I killed a few of them. Never permanently and honestly, they deserved it. They got the idea after that. Usually.

After weeks of searching, Kieran found a working terminal. It was in a safehouse hidden beneath the husk of a ship, and it took me all day to clear it so I could get in too. Halfway through cleansing the bunker of Hive, my gun broke from a sword strike. Didn’t even bother to draw my daggers, just knocked the Knight to the ground with my fists and took his sword. Blade in hand, I went right back to business. When I was done, I took my seat in front of the screen and pulled out Kieran and the datatag. Didn’t mention the sword to him. If he didn’t already know, he didn’t have to. I knew he wouldn’t like it.

We used the code to trace back to a databank. It was the first thing we would ever do together, and the only for a long while. The bank was like nothing we’d ever seen. Kieran knew it was Awoken and he knew we didn’t have enough to understand it. Like reading a foreign language. I understood nothing aside from my own name. _Ennaia._ It was a step forward, but it still stung. To get so close only to be blocked by my own lack of memory.

Skip forward a long while. Years. I finally listened to Kieran and found a ship. It was the second thing we would ever do together. Didn’t go to the Traveler, though. He still wanted to, but he didn’t say it anymore. Instead, we went far out. I searched the skies for any trace of my first home. At the same time, that ship became my second. I lived among the stars and never saw the same view twice. I didn’t know the word back then, but I was a Hunter, through and through.

Over time, I gathered all sorts of junk. Fallen tech and Awoken relics, some things I still can’t explain. All scavenged from ship wreckage. I didn’t talk to another soul, but I learned what I could about my people. I was a ghost in their territory, a tiny vessel skirting between the civilized parts, a lone wanderer in long forgotten places. It was the most peaceful I have ever been, and when I had learned all I could, I left that behind too. Went back to the shipyard where this all began, back to the terminal and the datatag. And I read it all.

Paranoid letters, all written for myself. This me, Risen me. See, I’d learned from Orin what happens when you die and come back. What you forget. It scared me more than anything I’d ever felt. I never wanted to lose what gave me strength. My people, my pack. A gentle touch from across the system, even when I was all alone on a mission for my Queen. I wrote it out, so that I could remember. Just in case I needed it. Put it all on that datatag and hid it in my boot. If I was still myself in that next life, I would figure out how to read it. I did.

It wasn’t flawless. There’s still gaps all over, holes that haunt me. But I’ll never be more grateful than I was when I read that last line and felt the connection that I had missed without knowing, for so long.

Say hello to your Queen.


	4. Interlude: LIGHT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothin' quite like watching Planet X drift past your ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, this chapter didn't originally exist until I sat down to work on the part that will come after this, and then I wrote this instead. Oops.

Somewhere between her birth and now, Ennaia found herself in a form of stasis. She sits in the cockpit of her tiny jumpship out on the edge of the solar system, blanket wrapped around her shoulders. A massive, dark planet looms in a corner of the window as the ship slowly turns in open space. Stars glitter like gems across the sky, not unlike the light on Ennaia’s own face.

Name this phase of her life LIGHT and see how it contrasts with her actions. Watch her fight without mercy. The cold lack of love nor hatred for her enemy. Watch how she tears them apart with the cut of a simple blade, ends the culmination of their years upon a single bullet. At night, look as the blood is washed from her hands by another. Understand that it is never enough to clear her heart.

Name this phase of her life LIGHT and see how it true. Her life as a Dark Age scavenger was not peaceful, not in the slightest. But it was beautiful. To some, the opposite of war is discovery, and this is true of her. She rests in the sky like her own tiny galaxy and for once, she knows calm. This openness is her solace.

Ennaia’s ship is the second closest thing to a home she has ever had. The first is a secret: she is not alone.


End file.
